


When I Am Pinned

by IsThereARealLife



Series: The Love Song of J. Buchanan Barnes [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Canon-Compliant, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsThereARealLife/pseuds/IsThereARealLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier is confused. Very confused. Who was the man on the bridge? Why won't they give him answers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Am Pinned

**Author's Note:**

> screw you [ishita](http://www.akadefenders.tumblr.com)

They force you back into the harsh metal. You know what’s coming. Or at least, you think you do. You aren’t sure which memories are real, what’s planted, what your imagination conjures.

Your heart doesn’t speed up. You don’t sweat. You never do. But you feel the fear take hold. Feel the muscles in your face move, falling.

Not this. If a tiny fraction of memory is real, please not this. You beg the silent gods. They’ve never listened. (How do you know that?) But you do anyway. Please not this.

That face. It still nags at you. Enough to question those masks aloud. Wipe him. It echoes around the room. No! No, not now! The face. It meant something. Something important. It… He was everything.

A pressure builds inside your brain, battering against walls you didn’t know were there. Memories. Memories of before (when?) trapped in your head. He’s there.

Who is he?

So familiar. But off slightly. Maybe. You still aren’t sure. Not small enough? That’s odd. But it’s all you have for now.

A name? (Jj…) No. (St…?) No name. (St…)

More cold metal fixing your arms tight to the table distracts you momentarily. You relax now. Give up. There’s no getting out. No point fighting.

Sparking clamps close around your head now too. And all of a sudden you tense. Electricity sparks through your brain, burning, frying along your skin, through your veins. Your entire body jerks, convulses, instinctively, unconsciously attempting escape. Distantly you hear screaming. Terrible, ragged cries. Somehow through the static in your mind you register that it’s your voice you hear.

You cling to that face. Even as the past seven months fade away you hang on to that anomaly with all you have. You knew him. You’ve never known anyone outside this cement hole, but you knew him. Why? Hold on. Hold on to him.

Eternities pass. Screams die down to hoarse whimpers. Your body only twitches now, exhausted.

You were meant to remember something. A face flashes before your eyes. Gone too fast. Not important.

They hold up a picture. Your mission, they say. Your mission.

Mission.

Mission.

Mission.

They say it until the words lose meaning.

Your mission

Locate. Engage. Eliminate.

He is your mission.


End file.
